How He sees you.....

It is interesting when you go through life and have little pitfalls. The times when you end up having self pity parties, and crying yourself to sleep. I feel like absolute crap when I get into these states but I love the feeling when I come out of them, the realization of certain truths that I seem to forget. I was in that state this weekend: I felt like I was just faded into the background, that people just see me but never pay attention to me as a person. I thought that I was just partly invisible. I then talked to some friends and I got some good advice. One of the things that really stood out to me was that fact that the people who know me really well have known me forever, and that's why they do. I cannot expect these new friends of mine to be the same way so quickly. I am expecting way too much from them. I also was brought to the realization that my good friends who I am not with right now cannot know if I am upset unless I tell them because they aren't here. So instead of isolating myself, and being prideful I need to to go the people I care about and who care about me for support. Instead of being the comforting one I need to accept that comfort and use it. I also read the amazing talk from last month's conference by President Utchdorf. After conference I went online and saved a bunch of talks that I wanted to reread at a later date. So I opened up the folder on my computer to read one. The first one I chose was this talk. I love how the Lord works in mysterious ways. This talk was what I needed to hear:

"My dear brothers and sisters, it may be true that man is nothing in comparison to the greatness of the universe. At times we may even feel insignificant, invisible, alone, or forgotten. But always remember—you matter to Him! If you ever doubt that, consider these four divine principles:

First, God loves the humble and meek, for they are “greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”¹⁷

Second, the Lord entrusts “the fulness of [His] gospel [to] be proclaimed by the weak and the simple unto the ends of the world.”¹⁸ He has chosen “the weak things of the world [to] come forth and break down the mighty and strong ones”¹⁹ and to put to shame “the things which are mighty.”²⁰

Third, no matter where you live, no matter how humble your circumstances, how meager your employment, how limited your abilities, how ordinary your appearance, or how little your calling in the Church may appear to you, you are not invisible to your Heavenly Father. He loves you. He knows your humble heart and your acts of love and kindness. Together, they form a lasting testimony of your fidelity and faith.

Fourth and finally, please understand that what you see and experience now is not what forever will be. You will not feel loneliness, sorrow, pain, or discouragement forever. We have the faithful promise of God that He will neither forget nor forsake those who incline their hearts to Him.²¹ Have hope and faith in that promise. Learn to love your Heavenly Father and become His disciple in word and in deed.

Be assured that if you but hold on, believe in Him, and remain faithful in keeping the commandments, one day you will experience for yourselves the promises revealed to the Apostle Paul: “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”²²

Brothers and sisters, the most powerful Being in the universe is the Father of your spirit. He knows you. He loves you with a perfect love.

God sees you not only as a mortal being on a small planet who lives for a brief season—He sees you as His child. He sees you as the being you are capable and designed to become. He wants you to know that you matter to Him."

Dang..

Though I should really be either writing a paper, or studying for the test I missed today I am going to update the blog world. It has definitely been a while. I haven't even done really anything that interesting. Last night right before I went to bed I checked my throat to see a nice lovely white spot. Dang you strep throat. My lymph node is swollen a bit on the left side which really sucks. The weird thing is that my throat doesn't hurt really at all. A little discomfort but that is about it. Thankfully. I stayed home from my classes today though seeing as it is contagious. I am planning on going to the clinic in a few minutes to get some drugs and maybe a short chat about my morning sickness issue. Hopefully I can get that resolved all at the same time. Also for a short period I could of sworn I felt one of my wisdom teeth trying to come through.. that is the last thing I need. For sure!

Well back to the grind. Hopefully I will be okay tomorrow because I have class, and work. I definitely can't deal with all this crap.

On the bright side: I had a lovely chat with my brother today. I miss that kid. Though he drives me insane sometimes, he is the best. Giving me a hard time for getting sick- assuming it was because I was making out with boys. What a boy. I can not wait to see him though. It will definitely be a grand union!

Now back to the books!